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Home
Authors
Patton Oswalt
American
Comedian
About the author
I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Books
#Spring
I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Time
#Right
#Now
I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Romance
Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Years
#Hate
#Funny
It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Right
#Now
#Being
#Country
If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Gold
I'm not familiar with the metric system.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Dance
#Art
#Music
#Focus
#Painting
I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Time
#Art
#Beginning
I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Death
#Comedians
I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Being
#Comedy
#Comedians
I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
I hate all sidekicks.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Hate
George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Evil
#Difference
I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.
Patton Oswalt,
American
Comedian
#Want
#Writing
#Writer
#Fact