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Home
Authors
Russell Baker
American
Journalist
About the author
Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#World
#Reason
#Rest
#Humanity
#Pleasure
#Events
#Misfortune
In America nothing dies easier than tradition.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Nothing
#America
#Tradition
Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#School
#Poetry
People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#People
#Pleasure
Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Work
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Misery
#Company
Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Publicity
It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Life
#Law
#American
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Car
#Efficiency
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Work
In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#America
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Years
#World
#Poetry
#Lonely
Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Children
#May
Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Want
#Children
#Age
#Parents
#Curiosity
Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#May
Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Public
#Will
#Poetry
#Loss
An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Information
#Wrong
#Misleading
Americans like fat books and thin women.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Books
#Americans
#Women
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Power
#Summer
A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#President
#Morals
#Church
#Politicians
In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Love
#Age
#Fashion
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#People
#Old
#Wrong
Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Progress
The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Being
#Tourists
The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Work
#Writing
#Writer
#Suspicion
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Man
#Goal
#Defeat
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#People
#Fools
#Cowards
You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Heart
#Light
What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.
Russell Baker,
American
Journalist
#Right
#Home
#Americans
#Trees