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Home
Authors
Scott Adams
American
Cartoonist
About the author
We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Knowledge
#Key
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#People
#Difference
#Profit
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Nothing
#Religion
#Pursuit
#Dating
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#People
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Success
#Successful
#Failure
#Goal
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Public
#Stupidity
There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Nothing
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Problems
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Nothing
#Revenge
#Forgiveness
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#End
#Act
#Kindness
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Art
#Mistakes
#Creativity
The only risk of failure is promotion.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Failure
#Risk
#Promotion
The best things in life are silly.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Life
#Silly
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Universe
#Numbers
You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Life
#People
#Fact
The longer you work here, diverse it gets.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Work
Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Will
#Problems
Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#People
#Free will
#Pleasure
#Illusion
Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Problems
#Information
#Cause
#Company
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Tradition
#Decision
#Results
Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Work
#Dumb
#Company
#Credibility
I get mail; therefore I am.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Mail
I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Job
#Worth
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Time
#People
#Questions
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Trouble
#Unix
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
Scott Adams,
American
Cartoonist
#Car
#Women