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Home
Authors
Wilson Mizner
American
Dramatist
About the author
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Death
You sparkle with larceny.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Lady
#Bed
#Embarrassment
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#World
#Power
#Women
#Tears
#Water
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#People
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Difference
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Friends
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Life
#Party
#Popularity
The first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Years
#First
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Wisdom
#Advice
#Profit
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Profit
I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Hollywood
#Years
#Heroes
I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Lawyers
#Fortune
I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Respect
#Faith
#Education
#Doubt
If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Research
#Plagiarism
I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Hate
#Flattery
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Life
#Years
#First
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Hollywood
#Service
God help those who do not help themselves.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#God
#Help
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Lying
Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#People
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Surprises
#Drama
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Fool
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Popular
A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#People
#Man
#Ambition
#Fortune
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Talent
#Battle
#Existence
#Tact
Art is science made clear.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Art
#Science
Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Being
#Desire
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Talk
#Will
Failure has gone to his head.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Failure
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Nothing
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Life
#Art
#Self
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
Wilson Mizner,
American
Dramatist
#Scripture
#Anger